FIRST LOVE in the media
“Lisa A. Phillips has found herself in a strange position as of late: trying to convince her students that romantic love is worthwhile. They don’t believe in overly idealizing partnerships or in the clichés fed to them in rom-coms; some have declared that love is a concept created by the media. Phillips, a journalist who teaches a SUNY New Paltz course called “Love and Heartbreak,” responds that of course relationships aren’t all perfect passion, and we should question the tropes we’re surrounded by.
But also: Those tropes began somewhere. Across cultures, people describe the experience of falling for someone in quite similar ways, ‘whether they grew up with a Disney-movie IV in their vein,’ she told me, or ‘in a remote area with no media whatsoever.’ The sensation is big, she tells her students; it’s overwhelming; it can feel utterly transcendent. They’re skeptical.”
NPR’s 1A
“According to a 2023 survey from the American Enterprise Institute, 56 percent of Gen Z adults report that they had a boyfriend or girlfriend as a teenager, compared to 69 percent of millennials, 76 percent of Generation X-ers, and 78 percent of baby boomers.
‘This generation is characterized by less in all of these areas: less dating, less sex, less togetherness,’ says Lisa A. Phillips, who teaches a course on relationships at SUNY New Paltz and wrote a book on teen relationships, First Love: Guiding Teens through Relationships and Heartbreak. There are many possible causes, including the loneliness epidemic, overreliance on technology, fears of sexual assault, unrealistic expectations of relationships from social media, a rise in teen anxiety and depression, the ubiquity of porn, the gender disparity on college campuses, and a decrease in leisure time for teenagers. But what’s certain is that while romantic connection has lessened, yearning for it certainly hasn’t.”
“Luckily, today’s parents have Lisa A. Phillips, whose new “First Love: Guiding Teens Through Relationships and Heartbreak” legitimizes these feelings, especially in an age of social media, increased mental health concerns, and issues like toxic masculinity and consent — concepts that weren’t widely discussed a generation ago. She teaches journalism and the Love and Heartbreak seminar at the State University of New York at New Paltz.”
Irish Independent
“First Love is a how-to guide for parents on how to raise caring, emotionally healthy and self-aware young adults.”
~Tanya Sweeney, Irish Independent
“The book is filled with colourful anecdotes, as well as thought-provoking findings and practical advice from a range of developmental psychologists and researchers. Parents will walk away better armed to support their children through the emotionally fraught teenage years on all matters love and heartbreak.”
~Shawna Cohen, The Globe and Mail
Totally Booked with Zibby
“When you’re guiding a young person through a heartbreak, it’s important to help that young person get what I call ‘brain breaks.’ They’re going to be super obsessed with the person who rejected them or the crush that didn’t respond, so they need to be doing other things than dwelling on it. If the young person in your life is going through a romantic disappointment, slip a few dollars into their hand and say, Go to the movies with a friend.”
Lisa on This is So Awkward
"Every teen relationship story is also a mental health story," the Woodstock-based author writes. "I was struck by how many of my subjects either went through significant mental health problems while in relationships or tried to take care of partners in crisis." Love, especially young love, profoundly impacts well-being, for better or worse.
~Maggie Baribault, Chronogram
Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam
When your teen falls in love for the first time—or goes through their first heartbreak—it can be emotional for everyone. You want to protect them, guide them, and maybe even stop them from getting hurt. But if you're not careful, your good intentions can push them away. In this episode, I’m joined by journalist, professor, and fellow mom Lisa A. Phillips, author of First Love: Guiding Teens Through Relationships and Heartbreak. Lisa shares powerful insight from her personal and professional journey helping teens—and parents—navigate the emotional rollercoaster of young love. If you’re wondering how to talk to your teen about dating, heartbreak, or those “red flag” relationships without causing shutdown or secrecy, this conversation is a must-listen.
In “First Love,” Phillips, 56, reclaims the need to take love seriously for what it is: “one of the most extraordinary dimensions of the human experience.”
Love, Brie
THINK OF THE CHILDREN SUBSTACK
“Lisa A. Phillips' 'First Love' is a sweet, heartfelt and caring look at the love, like and lust lives of young people, and how adults can support them.”
~Emily F. Popek
